Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Grant Lord Jesus that My Healing

Grant Lord Jesus that my healing in your holy wounds I find. Cleanse my spirit will and feeling, heal my body soul and mind. When some evil thought within, tempts my wayward heart to sin, work in me for its eviction, weighted by your crucifixion.

I don't know what to do. I mean, I do, but I don't. It's wrong, horribly, repulsively wrong, but I don't know what to do about it or even if I can do anything about it. I feel soiled, filthy, violated.

Every so often, we watch a movie in Interpersonal Communication to illustrate a concept. Is it just the films we view here or are all movies really so violent, so devoid of godliness, so vile, suggestive and lewd? I don't watch movies enough to know.

What shocks me most is that these films that are so repugnant to my conscience are loudly acclaimed even by classmates who call themselves "Christian" and whose opinions often correspond to my own.

I find myself many times compelled to turn my eyes, to stop my ears at the profanity. I feel my face tensing into a contorted grimace at the disgusting, vile images, words and actions portrayed as entertainment.

How can I as a child of God respond to, and deal with such perversity? I know I have freedom in the Gospel, but contrary to what some might say, that freedom is not freedom to absorb or relish thoughts, sights and words dishonoring to my Father. Should I not come to class on these days? But then I will have no ability to participate in class discussion later. Should I attend but actively turn away from perverse themes and words? Sounds feasible, but in actuality is impossible because every other phrase often carries immoral connotations.

How in the world can I combat this? Oh blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sin is covered! Right now, I do not feel like that one.

No comments: