Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Uncle. I'm whipped. I concede. defeat. Uncle.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Ultimate Art!

And I went ahead and did what I told myself I wouldn't do. I bought more books at a rummage sale.

Ah, well. Hopefully I'll read them.

The Illiad by Homer, a book by Garrison Keillor and .....

......TA DA! The most brilliant book ever written in the history of the human intellectual....

.....The Art of Cross-Examination!

Spectacular! I've already read two chapters of this 479 page volume complete with real examples of famous cross-exams by trial lawyers. I can't wait to finish it.

Now to milk! Just figured I'd steal a second to blog about something meaningless for once.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Have we gotten our analogies backward?

I've begun to wonder over the course of the past month if we as a church haven't gotten our analogies backwards.

I'm always hearing about how the relationship between Christ and his bride the church is "like" the relationship between a husband and wife.

But to say this is similar to saying that Christ was made to be "like" Adam.

Don't get me wrong, He was. But recently (thanks to Pr. Stuckwisch) I've come to think of that concept a little bit differently.

It has been explained to me that Adam was made in the image of Christ, not the other way around. Adam was made to mirror the "perfect Man" even Jesus.

If Adam was made in the image of Christ then should it not then follow at least a tiny bit that his wife, Eve was made in the image of the Church? Should we not rather say that the relationship between husband and wife was created to paint a picture of Christ and his Bride?

Have we not a tendency to view things from an earthly form of egocentrism. We in our arrogance say that heavenly things are "like" earthly things. Would it not be better to praise our Father that in his mercy He has made earthly things in the image of heavenly things? That he has preserved for us husbands and wives, fathers and mothers who not only provide for our physical needs but by analogy point us to the Great Husband and Father who ultimately provides for all our needs and his Bride who nurtures us as she submits to her Husband and gives us birth into his family.

Therefore, should it not better be said, as does the blessed St. Paul that, "husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless"? And when he continues, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord," is there any question that this is what the Church does?

So we ought to recognize that we are creatures made after the pattern God determines. God didn't decide to form the relationship between Christ and the Church so similarly to marriage so that we poor mortals could better understand it. Instead he gave us marriage so that we could better understand how much He loves us.

I hope that makes sense. And now I really need to go to sleep!


Note to various snoopy persons: I CAN write this at this time because it assists me in gathering my thoughts for the essay I must compose on the subject of success. So don't, pleeeaaase don't, tell me I shouldn't be blogging.

"How do you define success?"

First of all, I don't like the question. To ask how I define something is to suggest that there is more than one valid definition - more than one truth. Though to quibble about the wording of such questions might seem ridiculous, the same reasoning is used to justify error within the church and perversions in society at large. This same reasoning suggests that you have the right to define your life - to "create your own reality." Morality itself becomes a joke, for one can define "moral" however he pleases. Is an action right? Depends on your definition of "right"? Is an action good? Depends on how you define "good"? When everything becomes relative, objective "truth" dwindles to nonexistence.

As I have said before, "Just because you define the moon as a ball of green cheese, the moon does not for that reason become a ball of green cheese." (And aren't we glad!)

But, one might say, "Aren't some words relative, anyway? Is not a person obliged to create a definition for a word such as 'beautiful'?"

Actually not. True, 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder', but the beholder cannot change the definition of beauty. Bear with me a moment.

1.the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

Different sources bestow pleasure or satisfaction in the mind to different people. But regardless of the exact shape, form, taste, sound, or feeling a person calls "beautiful", the fact remains that the person derived pleasure or mental satisfaction from it. Grammatically, it is impossible to call a thing "beautiful" which, instead of proffering pleasure of some sort, wounds, disgusts, repulses or conjures up a feeling of loathing. Though a repulsive thing can occasionally be called "beautiful" (eg: the Cross), it is only beautiful because there are elements in it which do breathe pleasure and satisfaction. Understand that by "pleasure", I do not mean a sensual lust, but a thing which is pleasant - soothing to the senses- "good, right, and salutary".

So even relative terms are not subject to "personal interpretation." Rather, they have a set definition. Beauty is pleasant and satisfying. Beauty is not loathesome or detestable to the person who describes it as beautiful. This is true regardless of what item, person, place, time is called "beautiful".I recognize what this question is asking, but I refuse to answer it. I don't have a "personal interpretation" of the word "success." I strive to use English verbage and grammar as it stands without modifying it (well, maybe a few modifications).

Success (American Heritage Dictionary):
1.The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted.

Succeed II(Funk&Wagnall's College Standard Dictionary):
1. To accomplish what is attempted or intended.

Success is (and I abide by this definition) to achieve or acomplish what one has desired, planned, intended, or attempted.

This being said, allow me to prove myself a heretic and an infidel in the eyes of current culture by stating that success is not always "a good thing."

No! Absolutely not! Success cannot always be beneficial. The merit of 'success' depends on the merit of what end was gained by the accomplishment and what means were used to gain this achievement. A bank robbery may be a complete "success", yet what person (besides Nietzsche) would applaud it?

As Victor Hugo muses in Les Miserables, "Oftentimes a battle lost is progress gained." To determine whether a failure is beneficial, one must consider who lost. The success of evil results in evil. The success of good results in good. Conversely, the failure of evil fosters beneficient growth, while the failure of good dashes hope to smithereens and envelopes life in death.

The penman who authored this question undoubtedly attempted to inquire as to what outcomes I consider to be desirable. He or she does not really wish to discover my philosophical quirk of poking holes in the unblemished countertop of academic inquiry. So, I will bite my tongue and respond to the "spirit of the question" rather than the "letter of the question", but I will reword the question to make the letter fit the spirit.

"What outcome of your efforts do you consider desirable? With what result of your labors will you be physically, emotionally, and spiritually satisfied?"

Much better, though still not perfect. I will try to answer.

Because the Old Adam often proves much less dense than water (consequently floating), my reaction to the issue of my labor is always tinted with sin. (I am a sinner, yet righteous. How odd?) For this reason, I will speak of those outcomes the "righteous me" desires that I derive satisfation from.

I am satisfied with my work when I meet a goal I have purposed for myself which does not contradict or detract from God's Word. When I or other authorities set for me a noble, achieveable goal and I do not finish my work, I am disgusted with myself and bemoan the wretched state which causes me to put off God pleasing, yes, even God ordained, tasks - those good works entrusted to me by my superiors and by my conscience - until much too late.I also consider personal failure precious if by failing I was prevented from experiencing or perpetrating evil.

Some failures bring extreme relief: these too are welcome. Several times, a successful issue of my striving would have brought about exactions of my time and energy which would have sapped me of any remaining energy and broken me upon the rack of conflicting commitments clamoring for my attention. I am grateful that my aspirations were denied.

Success for me often translates into failure for someone else. In these cases, I ought to weigh the harm my success (which in itself is right and good) would do to my neighbor. My failure may grant immense blessing to another; with this I am (or should be) satisfied.

A success or failure is a satisfactory outcome if from it I am pointed to the cross. Contrition and repentance for rebellion (known and unknown) against my Father are always good outcomes.

Ultimately, an outcome is desirable if it is pleasing to Christ. I, according to the Spirit, should be content with these and not bemoan results of my labors which do not match my hopes. For what is past is past. I cannot change the past. "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." God will take care of the past - and He has! That's where absolution comes in handy. (I use "handy" jokingly, invaluable would be better.) But I can learn from the past in order to structure my strivings in a manner conducive to outcomes which honor Christ and build up my neighbor.

I see that I have talked alot about pleasing failures. That's because they're easy to identify and list. Satisfactory successes are much more numerous.

We all like success. We like to accomplish our goals. I guess the easiest thing (since I've already spent too many days working on this blog post) is to say that I prefer to succeed - to accomplish my objectives - whenever it is not displeasing to God (as revealed by Scripture) to do so. This, by the way, often translates into not harming my neighbor.

Minor digression. While penning (or typing, whichever you prefer) this post, I started down a rabbit trail, which, though not particularly applicable to the subject of success, is not deserving of the garbage can. Therefore to do it justice, I shall let it to remain, riding on the "success" of the previous post, whatever that may be.

One of my personal oddities is that events seem much more desirable if they include an adrenaline rush. Seriously, I'm not joking. And yet I really detest rollercoasters and other rides which jerk and jolt me around. My adrenaline rushes come more from involuntary responses to thoughts and interaction. This is one reason I so much enjoy public speaking; when I speak in public I can be absolutely terrified, yet overcome my terror. I feel powerful as I hold every impulse in check and force myself to speak clearly inspite of my quavering lips.

Yet, even everyday events cause such surges of hormones (such as adrenaline, dopamine, oxytocin and vassopressin). I'm quite serious when I speak of be the effects of hormones - they're quite powerful. I can feel my alertness suddenly heighten, my heart quicken and seemingly leap within me. I can even, in a way, sense the involuntary pupil dilation and facial muscle contraction stimulated by hormones. I'm not just speaking of romantic attraction; don't take this wrongly. I'm speaking of the involuntary hormonal changes which accompany every task and thought. The pleasure of reading and visualizing an engaging tale, a deep conversation, new ideas, the kindness of another person's actions, a hug from Mom or Dad; even my own thoughts trigger changes in feeling. Young women are very vulnerable because they are so caught up in the tossing waves of emotions. A single glance, a single syllable, a single touch can either send them into the clouds or bring their carefully built card castles crashing around them. It's so weird. We're always watching, watching everything. And, unfortunately, we young ladies are often trapped into reading into every move of every person around us. We try so desperately to get into the brains of the people around us, yet often we are afraid to ask them what they are thinking. It seems too risky. What if that person rebuffs the request? What if that person's response cuts and slices senseless to the havoc it wreaks on hearts opened to receive and cherish confidences? No, we think. It is better to try to figure out what people are thinking from their words and actions than to inquire and risk the razing of our hopes.

Hence we might say that catty girls simply vocalize and accentuate the manner in which all female minds embellish and read meaning into what they see and hear.

But women aren't actually all that thin-skinned. We've got a thick shielding of impermeable armor we've created for ourselves. This is why statements of people at school, in the community etc, who aren't close to us seem to slide off our backs, though in reality tiny barbs do penetrate the skin. It is the people who are closest to us who hurt us, simply because for them we open ourselves up. We take risks. We make ourselves vulnerable in order to attempt to express the affection normally hidden in the inward vaults.

Friday, April 18, 2008

XX is a Female, NO MATTER WHAT!

If one more person says anything about this person's baby, I think I will retch.
Yes, I know that that is graphic. Maybe I won't vomit, but I'll at least scream.

This subject seems to have come up in every single class for the last week! It doesn't help that we're discussing reproductive mechanisms in Physiology today.

It's very interesting to note how many people seem to take all their current events information from Opra (did I spell that right?)

I don't care what "surgical alterations" were done, as far as I'm concerned, "it" is a woman, always was and always will be, no matter what kind of perversions she engages in.

It's just wrong, but I don't dare scream that in class.

...Hmmm. I wonder what would happen if I did raise a ruckus the next time the topic comes up...So what if I'm "intolerant"? Why won't they "tolerate" me? Maybe I should try this as an experiment.


Thursday, April 17, 2008

Surfacing for Air

Like the porpoise, up I come to the surface of the deeps, gasping, coughing, sucking in air like I'll never get enough, before plunging again to dark caverns far beneath the meeting of water and sky.

I finished my research paper, so I'm going to spend a blog post jotting down various news from the Happy Sprouts Farm.

Matthew and Luke made the National Physical Fitness cut offs while Anna actually made the Presidential! They're all excited and I am too.

Elle, Anna and I spent a frustrating hour tattooing baby goats. (MI state law requires that all goats be tattooed or tagged with an official Scrapie Premise ID number, usually 10 digits or more.) Ears are much easier to tattoo than tails. For one thing, ears don't have little bones that the steel tattoo numbers can get stuck in. The Kids have all grown quite big, so holding them steady for the tattoo process was quite a challenge especially when sisters let go of tails upon hearing screams.... Blood, green ink, screams and tiny tattooing numbers and letters all mixed together do not facillitate mental functioning.
I must shamefacedly confess that I lost it and screamed at my siblings for the first time in...a long time.
Then we banded the bucklings. (Don't ask, you don't want to know) I'm just glad this is done. This is probably the portion of goat care I feel worst about simply because I'm never quite certain that I have properly applied the bands and afterwards I have to watch the bucklings mope around miserably -sometimes even refusing to eat- for days.
As a consequence of all this, I stink. Literally. A shower sounds LOVELY!

Physiology quiz tomorrow over digestive and endocrine systems. Dr. Norris hopefully won't make it too tough.

I startled myself today. Looking over sample college application essay questions (in ESSAY WRITING at Co-op) I noticed that one college wanted to know the applicant's definition of success.
It may sound funny, but that little thing really knocked me backwards a pace or two and I spent an hour pondering it. Now I know how I would answer, but I don't have time right now.

There are actually five or six different topics I hope to post on in the near future, but they'll probably all have to wait till after finals are finished.

I'm exhausted. Maybe I'll go shower and sleep. Maybe...

I know there was something else I wanted to write. Oh well. This is a VERY informal and unsophisticated blog post so it doesn't really matter.

And...Lukie vehemently expressed his opinions on altered Bible Stories tonight. He thinks (and I agree) that people who write children's Bible story books shouldn't be allowed to change or expand or add to the Scriptural text.

That reminds me: Luke's ears are badly blistering. I'm kind of worried about them. They've been curiously swollen ever since a harsh sunburn he incurred as an infant and easily prone to further damage.

Dad has been working at [the Pasture] to fix up a small house the past few days. Matthew, Lukie and Anna made it through the swamp far enough to disturb the bald eagle. That's when the ear blisters happened.

That's probably enough for now. Good night All!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Ecclesiastical Days

I could have written Ecclesiastes last night and most of this afternoon/evening.

I'm finally home preparing to sleep after 12.5 hours of being at a mall. Not the most pleasant thing for a farm girl, inspite of roosters crowing in the background.

I came home at 9:00 to the news that Velvet is crying in pains from some unknown cause. I don't know what it is or what to do about it. Neither do Mamita or Daddy. We just will have to wait and pray she recovers and that she doesn't have internal injuries from being butted by a larger dam.

Poetry helps, though "Captain, O My Captain" should only be recited with certain specific inflections and overtones........ahem!

But singing two part "Lyle the Kindly Viking" songs with Snap while milking is always therapeutic.

Evening! Cannot wait till tomorrow. No need for poetic therapy then!

Friday, April 11, 2008

The Salt Mines.

Augh! Shoot! Grroowl!

I spent two hours of time I should have used to sleep last night to type a rather long, but hopefully amusing blog post concerning water.

Then the electricity went out and the storm interfered with our satellite internet connection just enought to completely obliterate all that work!

Discouragement! What prevailing wind will dry the drops which flow on account of such sad occurences?

Actually, in spite of massive amounts of homework, I'm in a good mood.

How could I not be pleasantly disposed when I slept in this morning and enjoyed sunshine and warm breeze between classes?

There are several blog posts I want to write still, but they must wait until I have time to think. Till then....

....back to the salt mines!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Sleep Deprivation

I'm exhausted. This is absolutely crazy. I don't know how I am going to stay on my feet the rest of the day. Maybe I can sneak in a nap between classes. If I don't I know I'll fall asleep. As I was finishing homework this morning, the walls started to move. Weird! The walls seemed to bow inwards the higher they went upwards....I know that's not normal.
When I haven't obtained enough sleep, I start to curl in on myself. Normally, I function external to myself. I think out loud with my family. I walk around. I sing. I interact with others. I vocalize (some of) my feelings. I respond with nonverbals. Even when I sit, I stretch out. But I can tell I haven't slept enough when this changes. When I want to hide in a dark, tight corner, curl up in a small ball, wrap my arms around myself, and shut out the world - light, noise, sight, smell. My thoughts gel into a solid stagnant mass in my brain instead of flowing like liquid. I feel comatose. I force myself to focus on lecture without really responding to the information. I reply to peers reflexively without realizing what I am saying. I am silent and passive instead of argumentative. Even my eyes feel dull and glazed.
But the worst thing about sleep deprivation is that just as my mind blocks out all external stimuli so my heart's disquieting condemnation starts to overwhelm the gospel of forgiveness I know to be true.
I need to go to church tonight, but I need to sleep. I don't think I can do both, but I desperately need both. Somehow I'll work this out. If I say something stupid in the next day or so, everyone should know why.
Back to homework....if I can focus.

Monday, April 7, 2008


Sooo....Instead of blogging about the two most WONDERFULLEST, Biggsest, bestest happenings in my life recently, I found myself stuffing blue paste, milk and meds down the throat of a little black goat tonight.

Ah, coccidiosis? Possibly. That little organism would just love to complicate my life by stealing the life of my bittie baby. But (God-willing) we will thwart its endeavors! that is if it truely is coccidiosis.

On a more serious note, I'm not quite sure whether Velvet (Brown) will get better or worse from here. She's drinking a tad bit of milk, but nothing more. She's not as active and passively curls up in my arms instead of kicking a little bit. Much as I like to cuddle kids, I know that they are sick when they too readily submit to being cradled and cuddled. As well as when they shiver on a hot day.

So, we'll just see what happens tomorrow. Maybe I'll even get to blog about the two most recentest, bestest events/items!

Good Evening to all!

Friday, April 4, 2008

Blood Drive

Hey! Is anyone willing to donate blood? I really need to recruit donors and I don't think I have much time left.

I dislike having all the responsibility. Why did I have to be the contact for BC4HTSC to Red Cross?

Ok, so I don't have all the responsibility. But I'm the one who has to make sure that all our instructions are carried out. I don't have time. I don't have time. I don't have time!


So - breathe, truthquestioner, breathe - all I have left is to recruit ten or so donors (ha, ha, ha -what a joke) post signs up at the mall, get the mall to put us on their event board, publicize, etc.

I CAN'T DO IT!!!!!

Why can't Red Cross work with the actual 4H club co-ordinators for a change? That would be sooo much better!

So, now that I'm all worked up, if anyone feels so inclined to relinquish that precious liquid which is even now coursing through their veins, (you're not under compulsion, you understand)

here is the blood drive info:

Blood Drive

Orchards Mall

1800 Pipestone Road, M-2, Benton Harbor

Saturday, April 12, 2008

10:00 AM to 3:45 PM

Sponsored by the Berrien County 4H Teen Service Club

Presenting donors can enter to win game tickets to see the Detroit Tigers.


The Perfect One just brought it to my attention that the HT Forums have VANISHED!

I just checked and found this to be, sadly, all too true.

What is going on?

Personally, I'm really sad. I know I haven't been on for at least a month, but I still never dreamed that the Forums would just leave!

The Forums (plus blogged sermons and email questions) were my doctrinal lifeline for the first 4 months after FOR YOU. I don't think I would have made it through the semester as well as I did if I hadn't been able to retreat to the HT blogs and forums to hear the Gospel and sound doctrine.

For me, the forums have a deep emotional significance and it saddens me that they're gone. I wonder why.

Ultimately, though, the forums fulfilled their purpose for me. They tided me over till Emmaus. Now that I have two pastors eager to speak the Gospel to me and answer questions as well as fellow youth I'm getting to know and trust, the forums have faded into the background. I'll always remember the role they played in my life, but I don't depend on them anymore.

Maybe that is how it should be.