I'm trying to moor my tiny boat of personhood before the great rivers of time and life carry it off downstream. Unfortunately it's not working.
Our internet access has been down for almost a week. Finally it is working again. But we must be cautious to conserve.
The urge to blog overtook me over the weekend, so I "blogged" several items in word processor, posting them in the last half hour.
Sometimes I don't know why I bother, but I bother anyway. Wait! I do know why I bother. (see two posts down)
Life is turning upside down. It's very evident that I'm not in control and that life is not at all like fictional tales. In works of fiction, the peasant ultimately marries the prince, the little boy gets the bike he wants so badly, and even in tragedies everybody dies and gets put out of their pain. At the end of such tragedies, nobody lives on in torment.
But that's not how reality works.
I guess I'm looking at it all wrong; Kind of self centered and subjective. Mom had some great wisdom for me. I was feeling moody, staring out the window at the birds, "Who am I?" I mused, feeling sorry for myself. "It would be better to ask, 'Who is Christ?'" my mother responded.
She's right, though. Ultimately, it doesn't matter who I am because of who Christ is. That puts my little "ouchies" of the heart in perspective. Jesus cares for me. He won't hurt me. The little pain I experience now is for my good.
Knowing that doesn't make any pain or frustration go away, but it does dethrone despair and crown hope in his place.