I honestly am having a hard time believing it. Of all the weird medical conditions I’ve worried about contracting, it seems incredulous to likely be afflicted with carpal tunnel at the age of seventeen. It’s not right!
I wake up in the middle of the night to dead hands; hands which sense nothing but a vague tingling and do not move well. They have completely “fallen asleep” and I can feel the lack of blood flow. I must gingerly clench and unclench my hands while vigorously whacking them onto my knees for a few minutes before I can feel blood flow returning and sensation becomes normal. Ugh. My hands even lose feeling while I'm driving down the highway!
At first I thought this was normal – just a quirk of my personal physiology. Then I asked Mom and she comfortingly said, “You’ve probably just got a bit of Carpal Tunnel.” Great!
I suppose it is because I use my hands so much. When I’m not writing, I’m milking. When I’m not milking, writing, or folding paper critters I’m either reading or asleep or eating. Maybe I should give my hands a rest. But I don’t want to. I need my hands to live my life.
Hmm. Sounds like I’m scared of losing control. Maybe I am.
But I shouldn’t be. The fact of the matter is that I was never in control to start with. I may be worrying about a condition that I don’t even have. On the other hand, the carpal tunnel may be very real and I may never get rid of it. If that’s God’s will, who am I to complain? My life is just as safe and secure as it was before my hands started bugging me at night; my life is hidden with Christ in God. Really, nothing has changed.
Hmm. really selfcentered post stop needs to be ended stop ending now stop