A final defiance in the face of the terror of uncertainty.

After two nights of waterworks suddenly failing about 9pm and two nights of long distraught conversations with my parents (I was distraught, not them) I finished off my predicament by staying up until midnight writing this. But our ISP wouldn't publish so it had to wait till now.

‘Thirdly, the pain itself made Puddleglum’s head for a moment perfectly clear and he knew exactly what he really thought. There is nothing like a good shock of pain for dissolving certain kinds of magic.
“One word, Ma’am,” he said, coming back from the fire; limping, because of the pain. “One word. All you’ve been saying is quite right, I shouldn’t wonder. I’m a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won’t deny any of what you said. But there’s one thing more to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things – trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that’s a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We’re just babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That’s why I’m going to stand by the play-world. I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t any Aslan to lead it. I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we’re leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that’s small loss if the world’s as dull a place as you say.”’

Satan, I defy thee! Death, I now decry thee! Fear, I bid thee cease! World, thou shalt not harm me nor thy threats alarm me while I sing of peace! God’s great pow’r guards every hour; Earth and all its depths adore Him – silent bow before Him.

Get thee hence!

I bind unto myself today the power of God to hold and lead, His hand to watch, His might to stay, His ear to hearken to my need, The wisdom of my God to teach, His hand to guide, His shield to ward, The Word of God to give me speech, His heavenly hosts to be my guard.
Against the demon snares of sin, the vice that gives temptation force, the natural lusts that war within, The hostile foes that mar my course; Or few or many, far or nigh, In every place and in all hours, Against their fierce hostility, I bind to me those holy pow’rs!
I bind unto myself the Name, the strong Name of the Trinity, by invocation of the same, the Three in One and One in Three, of whom all nature has creation, Eternal Father, Spirit, Word. Praise to the Lord of my salvation; Salvation is of Christ the Lord!

In Thine arms I rest me; foes who would molest me cannot reach me here. Though the earth be shaking, every heart be quaking, Jesus calms my fear. Light-nings flash and thunders crash; Yet, though sin and hell assail me, Jesus will not fail me.